Gross macaroni

My first entry... YAY! Well let's see... I just tried to eat a plate of really gross macaroni and cheese, but it's the "lite" kind (like, the healthy kind), so of course it tastes like crap. Ben's out at the store buying some desk for this computer. OH CRAP... Florida State just lost to NCState... complete bullshit. What the hell guys?!?! ARRRRG... now I'm even more ticked off. Ben said something smart ass about me not having a cell phone cuz I couldn't afford it. I CAN afford it... yeah my service might get turned off this month because I can't pay my bill right away, but why does he have to give a shit? I'm giving him his half of the rent and he doesn't need to worry about anything else when it comes to my money. I'm sorry I have a shitty job where I really don't make that much money... and I'm sorry I'm in the situation I'm in and I don't have anything and am having to start from scratch to get my life in order. I don't think he realizes how much it hurts when he says stuff like that. It just reminds me of how I failed and how much I've been struggling over the past 11 months and I'm still not up on my feet. I don't know what more I can do... I've applied for better jobs, but nobody wants to hire a 19 year old college dropout with no experience in anything worth a damn. And even if they do hire me... I can't possibly find a job with a salary or an hourly wage worth a damn for me. It's all about money... always has been, always will be. And that's sad, but that's how this world operates. If you've got money... you're set. You can live happily and be prosperous and an appreciated member of society. Me? I consider myself to be the scum of society. I have a shitty waitressing job where I make 2.13 an hour, so basically I live off of tips. And ya know... people don't tip that well. Some do, most don't. I work my ass off and struggle to make my half of the rent each month. My phone keeps fucking ringing with stupid asses rubbing in the fact that NCState beat FSU. AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRG! I am SOOOOO not in the mood. I lost 10 bucks... got in a fight with the boy... ate a shitty dinner... and I have a headache. Boy's home... gotta run.